I was reading a short article on polygamy and I asked myself how does our view of sex impact our family structures?
After speaking to numerous women about polygamy, and if it was something they would or could embrace,their first point of concern was sex and the other woman. The issue of sex was presented in various forms but it boiled down to one thing, not wanting to share sex with another woman. It seems to be a great blow to self esteem to have your partner sexually involved with someone else. Somehow our sex and our self esteem are intricately entwined. The question that comes to my mind is, how important is sex in our relationships outside of reproduction. We all know it is important to some extent, but have we over valued it to our own detriment? Is egotistical exaltation being camouflaged under the disguise of sex?
Some women say when asked about a man having more than one wife said, if a man can have more than one woman then a woman should be able to have more than one man. Is this statement derived from the base of gender equality or ego? Although polyandry is not popular in Afrikan culture is does exist. The issue of roles then would be a factor in family constructs. In the family construct where the man is seen as the protector and provider this could be seen as an issue. Would one man be seen as the head provider or protector? Would this be the first husband and then how would this affect the other men coming to be husbands down the line. But that could also be viewed as ego based on roles. The fact is one man can impregnate multiple women at the same time whereas a woman can get impregnated only by one man at a time. How does that factor into a polyandrous family structure? Would this not increase the number of offspring she as one woman would have? If the men are still in their roles as providers, is not the woman left with no help with multiple children? Energy! How does energy factor into all of this? I have heard numerous women say that a change in partner has physical effects on their bodies. If that is the case how does having multiple partners physically affect the woman?
As with everything, pros and cons will arise. The point of this particular blog is to think about ego and sex. Why is it 95% of the cons given for polygamy or polyandry are based on sex. Yet when asked this 95% said, take sex out the equation and they could see numerous benefits to polygamy as a family structure. I must make note at this time that what is being put forward here under the banners of polygamy and polyandry are responsible, committed family structures, not men and women running around having sex with whomever they please because they get an itch. I am not even going to research what percentage of men would welcome a polyandrous relationship. The average man in today’s sexual climate cannot handle that. Ego would crush his self esteem and self worth. Buy why?
I end this short blog with the question, is sexuality and our perceptions of and on sex stronger or weaker today juxtaposed to in times gone by and is it having a devastating effect on our family units?
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