Self-examination is vital to the evolutionary path of love. Only in an atmosphere of complete honesty can unconscious psychic impediments to
our growth be cleared away.
When we turn our consciousness inward to reflect upon the self, a new sensitivity unfolds. Self-examination helps to renew and fine-tune the senses. Sexual habits are particularly dulling to the senses, and it is here
that self-examination is of great value.
If one partner depends exclusively on the other for support and comfort rather than seeking these within, the result can be a burdensome
imbalance in the relationship. Real love places no value on projection of selfish fantasies onto the other. This does not allow room for the play of ecstatic, spontaneous love. Instead, a relationship becomes limiting; it may even drag both partners into an unresolvable conflict.
Failures in both love and marriage often result when one partner does not live up to the expectations of the other. This suggests that there is no real partnership, but rather that one partner is being selfish with the other. In this situation a couple lives together in an inner state of separation and hypocrisy.
In the Tao te Ching, a Chinese philosophical work of the sixth century B.C., there is a beautiful and clear statement about self-knowledge. The author, Lao-tzu, declares: “Knowing others leads to Wisdom; knowing the self leads to Enlightenment. Mastering others requires force; mastering the self
calls for inner strength.”
Self-examination is both a touchstone and a support in life. It strengthens the mental attitude necessary for self-development. It is a very personal practice and should not be made a topic of general conversation, for
doing so results in psychic dispersion and weakened self-confidence. Positive self-examination deepens the capacity for intuitive experiences. It creates a state of enhanced receptivity. By seeing ourselves in a clear
light, we can eliminate negativity and doubt, which tend to pollute our relationships.
Authenticity within the couple fosters spontaneity, thus liberating the relationship from the conventional and predictable. Invoke an earnest desire to know your true self. Put aside self-doubt and fears.
Self-examination is a prerequisite of any practice of meditation. It can be performed at any time and is an internal reflective process far removed from the mind’s chatter and random thoughts.
There are two important requirements for the person embarking on a journey of self-awareness. These are the provisions that sustain one on
the journey. The first is faith or devotion. This quality can make the impossible possible. On the spiritual path, faith dissolves self-doubt, and devotion speeds one rapidly to the goal. Faith has no substance, but is a deep feeling; people generally cannot say why they have faith, they just know and believe.
The erotic sentiment stimulates faith and leads to commitment. Eroticism can create the awareness of a timeless state of non-duality. There is an Eastern saying that “in the unsteady mind enters time”; faith is a timeless
and steadying experience that can transform an ordinary physical love into the super sensual union of a “god” and “goddess,” the highest attributes of our spirits. The truly erotic experience is always timeless; the couple evoke faith in each other and awaken the non-dual essence within. So it is with
faith in the cosmic nature of our consciousness and in the highest spiritual ideals common to every inner tradition.
Be devoted to everything you believe in and especially to the transforming
power of sexual energy. A couple who are united in faith and mutual devotion can experience their true natures as god and goddess.
The second provision for the journey is the Divine Energy of Creation, the
exalted feminine principle that pervades all things. In the human
body this energy is located primarily in the sexual region. It is the power of transformation, an uplifting and liberating force that, when awakened, leads to the ecstasy of fulfillment. It is the power of the orgasm, the thrill of sexual delight, the sudden flash of insight. When the exalted feminine energy is evoked during sexual love, the couple can awaken to a new creative potential within themselves. Recognizing and honoring this principle opens the path of love.
There is a well-known Tantric saying that “without the Divine Creative Energy, the lover is but a corpse.” This energy is especially concentrated in the woman and it is this power that enables her to give birth. The Divine Creative Energy therefore can also refer to the female partner, without whom no enlightened act of love can be completed.
An “inner woman” exists in both men and women and manifests as sexual energy. This natural (bisexual) quality of all human beings results
from our origin through the union of the two sexes. The attempt to suppress this natural androgyny in favor of an exaggerated “male” or “female” emphasis has created serious psychological imbalance in the West.
Psychiatrists report sexual role confusion as one of the dominant neuroses in contemporary society. A liberated attitude to sexuality demands an awareness of the natural bisexuality of all human beings. The couple should make full use of this kind of awareness during lovemaking and playfully exchange sex roles, recognizing that there is a female in every male
and a male in every female.
It is important to recognize the significance of role reversals when engaging in mystic sexual practices.
This does not mean that a man needs to become “effeminate” or a woman “aggressive.” Rather it means one should let go of preconceptions
about sexual roles and allow spontaneity to enrich the relationship. Honor
male and female qualities equally. Try to understand the mystery of life through the subtle interplay of male and female principles. All that is created is but an emanation of the one Creative Force of Nature.
In this world the female principle is particularly exalted and as such
should be greatly honored. A man’s attitude toward women is a direct
reflection of his attitude toward life. Therefore a man should always take care to honor the female principle in his partner, in other women, and in himself. Likewise, a woman should recognize the qualities of the Goddess in herself and try to embody them. She should also try to relate to the “inner woman” of her partner, aiming to please both aspects of the One Creative Power.
When a man spontaneously views his partner as an embodiment of the Creative Goddess, she will respond with pure faith and devotion. She will become his high priestess and initiatress into the mysteries of love; he will then reveal himself as her Lord and Lover.
Our African Heritage Online
Source: Sexual Secrets